***Trigger warning – Baby Loss***
Today I received an email from a well known parenting website informing me I was 34 weeks pregnant, I’d signed up for updates as soon as I found out I was expecting, and this email told me that my baby would be plumping up and could hear my voice…except I’m not 34 weeks pregnant because sadly I miscarried at 7 weeks.
The email took me by surprise, only the second time I’ve been caught off guard by my reaction to anything baby related since I felt I had made peace with the loss. I blogged about the unexpected surprise earlier in the year, and felt I had accepted the fate of that pregnancy.
Just a few weeks ago I was shopping when I turned a corner and saw a baby event in the supermarket, it stopped me in my tracks, and I was flooded with an unexpected sadness.
So why have I suddenly started to reflect on the baby that wasn’t to be? It may be due to the fact that around now would have been when I started packing my hospital bag, getting excited about the impending birth and new sibling for my other children. It may also be because this month is baby loss awareness month. It’s a subject I’m becoming more interested and passionate about, having experienced two miscarriages and now working closely with ‘From My Womb To My Heart‘ who support women with maternity Bereavement.
I’ve learnt some saddening statistics since meeting Kerry, founder of From My Womb To My Heart:
- 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage.
- There are around 250,000 miscarriages a year in the UK alone.
- 1 in 90 pregnancies end in ectopic pregnancies.
- 1 in 600 is a molar pregnancy.
- Around 1 in every 227 births, over 28 weeks, ends in stillbirth in the UK.
- 5600 babies are stillborn or die shortly after birth every year in the UK.
What makes this more painful for families is the taboo surrounding baby loss. Many feel they can’t talk about it for fear of others reactions, when what they need is acknowledgment of that baby. Sometimes all we want is to be able to say my baby mattered and my baby was loved.
I’ve experienced insensitive comments, or people ignoring/avoiding the subject, maybe for fear of not knowing what to say, or feeling uncomfortable themselves. This is what the taboo of baby loss does, it’s not an easy subject to talk about but it’s something we need to talk about so those going though it feel supported and feel they can talk about it if they need to.
This month we will be supporting the Wave Of Light on 15th October, and attending a local service at our church arranged by Kerrys organisation.
You can join in too by helping to break down the stigma, you can share awareness images online, and let those around you know it’s ok to talk if they go through a tough time.
If you or someone you know are affected by miscarriage, or baby loss you can contact –